Dr. Tom 0:00

So what if working harder is not the solution, but working hard is also not the problem? If hard work were the answer, then the hardest working, most hustling people would be the happiest, most fulfilled people. But they're not You keep pushing, you keep showing up, you take more courses, you watch more YouTube videos, you read more books But nothing is shifting Yet you still keep working longer, working harder, studying more, just banking on the hope that someday it's all gonna pay off, that someday you'll have the money, the resource, and the free time to enjoy life, to spend time with your family, to live But what if the problem isn't that you're failing to work hard enough? What if the problem is not even that you're working too hard? What if the problem is that you're working from a survival identity? Continuing to struggle, strive, and grind from a survival state, protection state, it's just gonna produce more of the same That's why we get stuck in survival mode for so long, grinding and working hard, barely getting by, paycheck to paycheck. And God forbid something go wrong or an unexpected expense come up by the way, I'm Doc Tom Having, and I help guide people that are just a few steps behind where I was years ago, to align their energy system so they can enjoy the prosperity and make the impact on the world they were called to make I can speak on this firsthand because I have spent most of my life in survival state I was born and raised in a very dysfunctional, drug-induced, abusive family, as I'm sure many watching this can relate to. Always looking for some survival rope to hold onto so I wouldn't drown Always trying to control things that were out of my control. Always waiting for the next shoe to drop Later in my life, well, by my own doing, I encountered addiction, pretty bad, pretty severe for a while there. Incarceration, don't recommend it, and homelessness. Not as bad as incarceration, don't recommend that either Those experiences further trained my nervous system to stay in that survival protection state When we're in a survival protection state, it's like life is something we need to survive and get through instead of experience, enjoy, embody, and express in During this state, I learned to push, I learned to compete, I learned to compare, I learned to judge. I learned to try to control things that were truly beyond my control because so much of my life felt uncontrollable I developed an incredible capacity to endure pain and just keep pushing no matter what life threw at me, 'cause that's all I knew. But this capacity to survive and make it through these hard times that I now realize I was creating myself, it kept me alive So I'm not here to shame or blame the survival identity of myself, that survival version, nor do I want you to do that. Heck, we needed it It probably protected you from challenging situations in your own life that other people wouldn't even believe Probably made you resourceful, resilient, grit, and probably made you always look for a way to get back in the game even when life knocks the shit out of you. I know that's what it did for me but that survival identity that helped you get through that chapter of your life is probably not gonna help you create and embrace and enjoy this next chapter of your life I mean, survival taught me how to escape pain or at least postpone it. It did not teach me how to embrace prosperity and joyful circulation Survival identity taught me how to keep pushing when things felt scary. When things felt out of control and I felt fear, just do, do, do, do more, do more, do more, do more. Do, do, do. Do, do. Felt like I was starting to do-do all over myself It did not teach me how to pause, listen, receive that inner source guidance that's always been there that actually feels way, Woo-Way easier That's why so many type A highly driven people with big goals feel stuck and trapped in this loop of repeating cycles of try and try and try and fail and fail and fail and try and try and try and struggle, struggle, struggle We think the answer to every problem is to work harder. If money flow is short, work harder, do more, struggle If the business isn't growing, leads aren't coming in, work harder, struggle, work harder, do more If the relationship feels uncertain or unstable, explain more, persuade more, convince more. More, more, more. Do more, struggle more, work harder more And then if life is not reflecting back what we hope, if it's not responding the way we'd like, then we just say we must need more discipline And discipline means life's not responding the way we want, so work harder, struggle more, try harder. But maybe that's not discipline What if it's just fear wearing work boots? When we're in the survival state, Sometimes we're not being pulled forward by purpose. We're being chased from behind by this ogre that says, "If you don't do more, try harder, and struggle more, you are going to get caught, fall, get trampled, and everything's gonna fall apart." But the more and the longer we stay in this striving, trying, surviving loop The more our true source self-expression falls apart. I know because it happened to me It's simple. The more I struggled, the more life felt like a struggle This was certainly true for me around money Growing up in a very poor family, always hearing money doesn't grow on trees, we can't afford it, we're not made of money I had some Programs to overcome, and I did. By 2018, 2019, I had a seven-figure revenue gym. Yeah. I had beat the ogre. I had learned how to be abundant, and it was a different lifestyle altogether. But even then, I felt like an imposter. I felt guilty looking at my bank account. Just three years ago, I was struggling very much so financially. I mean, every opportunity, it had to work or else I mean, financial pressure and fear activated struggle on a whole 'nother level Every enrollment conversation had to become a sale or else Every piece of content had to get likes or become a lead or else Every action I took had to give me some sort of evidence that I was gonna be safe and okay, or else From the outside, that could look like ambition, but from the inside it felt like a chronic panic attack My shoulders are tightened, my heart pounds, my stomach gets in knots, my heart, mind races. Nervous system dysregulation on high volume When that happens, curiosity disappears, connection disappears you stop connecting and listening because you're trying to control what's gonna happen next by thinking about what you're gonna say before they're even done talking You may still be doing the work, but the energetic identity directing this work is full of fear and struggle And fear has a strange way of recreating the very thing it's trying to avoid, Like when you become terrified of not having enough money, of running out of money, you can become so attached to that, that people feel your need for more money when you're talking to them With this fearful struggle lurking in the energetic background, even when you truly intend to serve The other person can feel your need to get something from them Instead of feeling your desire to serve them, they feel this need you're trying to get something from them Instead of feeling fully seen by you, they feel like you're trying to get something from them, sell them something, and their sales wall comes up, their connection wall goes up. It's just human energy exchange When actually all you're trying to do is survive Same thing when you're afraid of being rejected. You can try so hard to prove yourself and to persuade and to convince That the person you're trying to connect with doesn't even experience the true self that you are The struggle survival identity says, "I must make this happen." The aligned prosperity identity asks, "What is life inviting me to do now?" Whole different energetic frequency Now, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean to lay down on the couch, stare at the ceiling, and wonder when the universe is gonna deliver what you desire like Amazon Prime. It definitely doesn't mean not taking action. Instead, taking aligned action So this is not a do nothing plan of action is to do something, and to do it with alignment An aligned action is the best action. And yes, sometimes it can feel intense, sometimes it'll feel inspired. And sometimes it requires courage, devotion, attention, and having difficult conversations The difference is the internal energetic state while you're doing what you do. That's the shift Are you taking action doing what you do because it feels aligned and it's almost like you're being pulled forward? Or are you doing it because you're terrified that if you don't do it, everything will fall apart? Huge difference Are you building something from love that you love? Or are you still trying to build something to prove that you're worthy and good enough Are you serving and connecting with the person in front of you? Or are you secretly hoping they'll relieve your financial fear Are you working just to escape survival and struggle? Or are you allowing your true source self to guide you without being attached to the outcome, without depending on the outcome in order for you to feel peaceful? I know, I know, I know. All this is much easier said than done, right? But what if it did feel easy? Cause here's the thing, two different people can perform the same exact action and have completely different experiences based on their energetic identity, their level of frequency. The one doing it from survival and struggle will have a far different outcome than when doing it from alignment, prosperity, and true source self One says, "I need this to work so I can feel safe. I need this to work so I can feel worthy, to prove that I'm worthy The other one says, "I can see clearly I'm doing what I do because it's the next expression of connection, and I'm not attached to the outcome." That's why I no longer believe that transformation starts with doing more, nor do I believe that transformation means we have to change. I believe it means we have to choose We have to choose how we're showing up and the energetic frequency we're identifying with So any transformation begins by recognizing who's doing the doing. What energetic version of me is doing the doing? Which version of you is showing up in your relationship? Which version of you is running your business? Which version of you is going to work When you think about money, what version of you takes over your mind? The survival struggle or prosperity alignment? You have access to both. So do I. So do we all Just ask, is this the protective struggle identity who's always trying to push, prove, force, and is always left wanting more? Or is it the alignment prosperity identity who's curious about what's unfolding next and has a certain level of certainty that things are working out perfectly without any attachment to the outcome Obviously, choosing the prosperity alignment identity is gonna work in everyone's favor. But here's the thing, we don't have to hate, destroy or try to do away with the survival identity. Thank it, love it. At some point, that survival identity kept us safe. It protected us from some sort of pain that we'd experienced in the past. So instead of keeping it locked up in the dungeon, I call them my ogres, I bring that ogre up and dance with it. I dance with it, I thank it, "Thank you, I love you for protecting me. But hey, here's the thing, ogre, we're gonna change your job description now. We're gonna update it, we're gonna upgrade it." And we give it a new job description. But it's not gonna go away because it's been protecting us for years. It's like our highest paid, most long-lasting, never-miss-a-day-at-work employee. Instead, we rewrite the job description This is the shift from survival force-driven to prosperity aligned, flowing with life And flowing means deciding, declaring, and devoting that energetic identity You still do the reps You still develop and share your gifts and strengths. You still have the difficult conversations you still make the offer, publish the video, manage your money But you stop abandoning your true source self, your prosperity identity, while you're doing the actions You stop making your peace and your presence dependent on the outcome You stop using every obstacle as proof that, oh, I got to just push harder. You start treating the obstacles and the resistance as new opportunities, new openings, new doors Sometimes the resistance, the obstacle, is inviting you to become still enough to realize you've been pushing in the wrong direction Sometimes the resistance is the opportunity you just didn't see from your survival perspective So struggling and surviving is not the way shifting from the survival struggle identity to prosperity identity is working for me, and I believe it'll work for you too So here are three questions I'd love for you to sit with. First, what am I currently forcing or trying to prove? Second, what am I afraid would happen if I stop forcing it? And third, what if it felt easy? And what if I believed that it were impossible to fail? I guess number three is a compound question. I love this one. What if it felt easy and what if I believed it were impossible to fail? You don't have to rush and come up with the right answer. There's no right answer anyway. Just the answer that feels good and true for you I invite you to let those questions reach the part of you, your heart-soul complex, that already knows. It's always known. Just remembering Your next level up of life probably doesn't require more pressure But it may just require a new energetic presence of who's doing the doing You show up as the version of you who can do the work with devotion without desperation one who can pursue prosperity without being driven by lack One who can take power flow action without being attached to the outcome Your ability to work hard was never the problem. It's actually one of your strengths This invitation to you is to free that strength from the survival and struggle identity and let it flow in the freedom of prosperity Then the work becomes love made visible Hard work helped me to survive. Alignment is helping me to embrace joy-flow prosperity If you recognize yourself in this experience I'm sharing, perhaps this shift can happen for you too Now, I cannot choose the shift for you, but I can sit here as evidence that the shift is available for you Now I'd love to hear from you. What part of your life are you still trying to force? Share it in the comments, naming the program, maybe your first rep into stepping into your prosperity identity And if you'd like my free one-page Survival to Prosperity matrix, comment "prosperity" in the comments, and I'll make sure I get that to you cause I love to give it away, give it away, give it away now. After all, we're all participating in this game of life together. We may as well learn to participate and play instead of trying to struggle and survive. I'll see you in the next one